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No pun in ten did
The ability to make and understand puns is considered to be
the highest level of language development. Test your pun comprehension:
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two
dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only
one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One
turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were
chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once
again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says,
"I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The
first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who
refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into
a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked
them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open
foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for
adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain , they name him "Juan." Years
later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen
Ahmal."
8. A group of friars were behind on their
belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since
everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town
thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but
they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug
in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and
trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist
friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked
barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his
feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd
diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ... a super calloused fragile
mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, Patriot Humor sent ten
different puns to their subscribers, with the hope that at least one of the puns
would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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