How many people does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatics: Only 1 - Hands are
already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10 - One to
change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None - Lights
will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None - Candles only. (Of
guaranteed origin of course.)
Baptists:
At least 15 - One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the
change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: 3 - One
to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much
better the old one was.
Mormons:
5 - One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a
light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light
bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance
about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a
number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way,
long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined
- Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can
be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the
Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6 - One woman
to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None -
Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish:
What’s a light bulb?