The
Hormone Hostage
The
Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do
is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a
handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every
husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!
DANGEROUS:
What's for dinner?
SAFER:
Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:
Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE:
Here, have some M&M's.
DANGEROUS:
Are you wearing that?
SAFER:
Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST:
WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE:
Here, have some M&M's.
DANGEROUS:
What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:
What did I do wrong?
SAFEST:
Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE:
Here, have some M&M's.
DANGEROUS:
Should you be eating that?
SAFER:
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:
Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE:
Here, have some M&M's.
DANGEROUS:
What did you do all day?
SAFER:
I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST:
I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE:
Here, have some more M&M's.
13
Things PMS Stands For:
1.
Pass My Shotgun
2.
Psychotic Mood Shift
3.
Perpetual Munching Spree
4.
Puffy Mid-Section
5.
People Make me Sick
6.
Provide Me with Sweets
7.
Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples
May Surface
9.
Pass My Sweatpants
10.
Pissy Mood Syndrome
11.
Plainly; Men Suck
12.
Pack My Stuff........ And my favorite one....
13.
Potential Murder Suspect
Pass
this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!
Or men who need a warning!
And
remember: Money talks ... but M&M's sing.
My
husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so
he would be able to monitor my moods.
When
I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red
mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.
Here,
have some M&M's.